I initially started this time off of work filled with nervous anxious energy. Would it be a waste of time? Would I fail miserably and realize that I should keep my day job? Would I realize that I would never be able to accomplish what I hoped? Would I, by the end of this sabbatical, have nothing to show for?
Every day I start with some hope and optimism. I go about my usual routine and do some studio work. Stepping back, doubt seeps in and takes up residence in my brain. By the end of the day, I'm often battling self loathing and frustration. I throw my hands up in defeat. But I wake up the next day and start all over again. In the end, I realized that it is this struggle that keeps me going.
I found out this weekend that I was chosen to be one of six emerging Toronto artists to be represented at the Luminato Festival this year. It'll be a video montage of the video I did for the Artist Project. I'll have a segment of the eight minute montage. Also, I will be participating in the Outdoor Show. So I've got a lot of work ahead of me. I'm looking forward to it though.
Taking this time off was the best decision I made for myself. It has helped me recalibrate what is important to me in my life. It has set me on the right path and I am that much happier realizing that I can do this. It has given me the courage and the confidence to keep going. All I ask for is the chance to do more because I am eager to see where this path will lead.